Getting married is one of the most ecstatic moments in life. Bringing together two families can be very wonderful, but it can also be very stressful depending on your family situation. Every child of divorced parents’ question is “How am I going to have my parents in the same room?”
Many even fret about step-parents, new girlfriends and boyfriends, the duty of walking the bride down the aisle, and seating arrangements. It is absolutely imperative to have open communication with all parties about everything. Be sure to consistently remind each individual that it is your wedding day and all hard feelings should be set aside so your unity can be peacefully celebrated. But that is easier said than done, of course.
All details, both big and small, should be discussed beforehand. Be sure to have everyone aware of who is walking you down the aisle and escorting you in the typical father daughter dance. Feelings may be hurt but it is your decision and by keeping everyone up to date it allows for them to get over it before the actual ceremony. Try to avoid any surprises that may upset someone. Don´t make a decision based on other people´s feelings and expectations. Important details should be based solely on you and your wishes.
Beforehand you and your family should discuss a portrait list. Figure out who can take photos together and who is better left separated. If you really want your parents who cannot stand being in the same room together in the same picture, it is best to bring this idea up and let them think it over prior to the wedding. Remind them what a big day this is for you and let that resonate as they make their decision. With a little time and constant reminders of your weddings importance to you, compromises can be made.
In addition, it is okay to stray from tradition. If you want both your father and step-father to give you away, then do it. If you want a huge family portrait including mothers, fathers, step-mothers, step-fathers, etc, then do it. If you only want your parents sitting at the wedding parties table, the decision is yours. Creating new customs and compromising is key when dealing with such a sticky situation. It is okay to do something completely out of the ordinary if it is going to be a solution that you´re happy with. Nowadays everything is very flexible as weddings can be made very versatile if you have an open mind.
Yes it is necessary to take all parties into consideration, but do not let them change your plans. It is your wedding day and petty drama should be able to be pushed aside for a day of celebration. Accommodate to your parents needs for the small stuff, but nothing major should be altered because of them. Treat everyone the same as to not fuel anything. When worst comes to worst it is best to ignore the issue you and let them sort it out, by letting it upset you it is only drawing attention to the matter.
Overall, don’t feed the fire. If you know your parents cannot be at the same table then seat them separately. Yes try to avoid something that may cause an eruption, but there is no need to walk on eggshells when it comes to your own wedding. The day is about you and your soon-to-be husband, make sure all involved take note of that. Often times a little family drama is unavoidable, do not sweat the small stuff nor allow anyone to rain on your parade.